awh.. this thing has died, hasn't it? too bad, too bad... yeah. wow. it's wednesday. i could've sworn it was.. .. idunno, any day but wednesday. i must have lost my concept of time or something.. oh well. ..my bus rides have gotten.. weird.. because of the couples..... going to my locker is even more messed up.. because there's some random couple making out in front of it.. and i have to ask them politely to move... once they stop and move an inch to the right, they're at it again.. and i'm trapped on both sides by couples.. kneeling on the ground.. and it's like.. hm.. ok.. how nice.. but.. i don't see why they can't go into a lovely little corner instead of blocking the hallway. on the bus it's just....blah.. i'm so sick of the people.. even though they're all blurs since i'm blind again.. especially that psychotic freshman kid. psychiatrists must be either previously insane, mentally dull, or extremely strong-willed/apathetic to not be affected by their patients.. depression is contagious.. especially if a depressed person can go on little rants... if those aren't overlooked as completely senseless babble the feeling could spread. yeah. right. but i don't even think that kid is depressed.. just.. messed.. so that was irrelevant... oh well. time kills everything... nothing can withstand it, especially relationships.. no exceptions.. if the people don't naturally drift apart, then death will do the job. anyone who wants to live forever is partly insane... that's why i don't understand the whole afterlife ordeal.. well, i kinda do.. but that's why i don't believe in it.. or don't want to. it's there to keep people alive.. many religions condemn suicide, and indirectly view depression or suffering as salvation.. because there would be even more to look forward to in heaven, if the suffering is undeserved and challenged with love and compassion. if the people in those positions didn't believe in a heaven and hell then they would be completely hopeless... what would be their reason to live.. if they'd die anyway.. and go nowhere? idunno. that's probably why church makes me feel so horrible.. especially when they go on and on about how god still loves you whether or not you love him.. or are loved by anyone else. if there is a god i hope that's true.. and i hope all of the people that believe and have led.. "good".. lives.. will be rewarded in some way. it wouldn't be fair if they weren't..... but.. life is never fair.. so yep. ugh. what b.s. i wrote.. i just felt sorry for this poor, dead diary.
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I don't know you
But I think I HATE you
You're the reason for my misery
Strange how you've become my biggest enemy
And I've never even seen your face
Maybe it's just jealousy
Mixing up with a violent mind
A circumstance that doesn't make much sense
Or maybe I'm just dumb
You're the cloud hanging out over my head
Hail comes crashing down welting my face
MAGIC MAN, EGOCENTRIC PLASTIC MAN
Yet you still get one over on me...