diana's taking a shower which means i will have less than 2 hours to spend at the mall. i need to shop! it will be therapy. i need to get rid of this bitter taste in my mouth, this pitiful feeling somewhere below my ribs. more coffee anyone?
how can someone make you feel so low...with just a few gestures. a few sarcastic remarks. "crazy...how it feels tonight". wanting to laugh, cry, and just bitch the entire world out all at once. i kept switching between the three. couldn't decide. back stabbers. i want all this to go away so i can crawl under the rocks and live the rest of these days in solitude.
yearning. i hate that feeling. i like this flowing music. lovely lady.
sometimes i wish that someone could just tell me how to live my life. give me a itinerary of some sort. just tell me everything will turn out okay, won't you? i think i need you now more than ever. i wouldn't know.
people are never there when i need them the most.
well shopping will help. it did last year...why the hell should this year be any different. im so stupid to think that it was different. it's a pattern. i can't change it. i was never one of those who colored outside of the lines.
sit here with me. you don't have to say a word and it would still make my day.
-g1