sooner or later it falls to the tips of your toe

And without the music or the pain to elicit some sort of emotion, I�ve realized that I don�t want to feel because it�s too subjective and unpredictable for my liking. So this is what it�s come down to. Misguided by the 405. I never really understood that song but it soothes me like a distant weeping. If I keep holding back and overanalyze every aspect I will never start living�ever. But that's just it. I realize that maybe I don�t want to live and never really did in the first place and that I just want to get through it�.like getting through a grading period without a B or blinding driving on the road and hope I don't end up with a scratch because of course I still think that I�ll have all the time in the world to change and that I�m invincible. Not that any of this makes sense but I don�t want to have to deal with it because it doesn�t matter. Nothing ever does.

-g1