low eq :) :) :)

i'm gone for less than three freaking days and i come back and my whole goddamn room has been changed around and everythings f*cked up in it now because i had things where i knew they were, and now who the hell knows where the baby cradle went (or why it was in there in the first place) and all of my shit has been shoved from my room into the back corner of my closet so thanks a whole shitload but i'm NOT GONE YET.

ha, and i wanted to write something pleasant about growing up and missing this life. turns out growing up is being periodically rejected by certain institutions, including your family, and even if you're verbally welcomed you'll never belong there again. and boston, all the hype about boston was over CAMBRIDGE not boston, i'm staring across the river at the "better life" i'm being denied and screw education anyway, i don't see me using it in the future. maybe i'll become a pilot, i like the feeling of disassociation that comes through constant traveling and clouds.. don't think i need a college education for that. or maybe i'll get schizophrenia and stand on some f*cking street corner alone with my sign i believe in more than anything else and have people laugh at me for being delusional but damnit at least they believe in something its better than going around dumb all the time buying useless shit until eating becomes a burden because you can't escape the process currency exchange service exchange work for a living and die soon enough and never have any solid belief because you're so caught up in money. a college education.... ha. it seems so pointless....