blah blah blah

this here "diary" is for us to rant, complain, do whatever...if i felt like it, i would. i guess right now i'm too tired or bored or disinterested to rant, but the thing is, that's kind of the way i've been feeling about everything. like all the bad will i've been carrying around just got used up, fizzled out to nothing, and everything else along with it. i can see me trying to force myself out of it again, only in the reverse direction for the reverse situation, but now i can be fairly certain it won't work, so i'm not sure exactly what i'd be doing. second guessing everything you haven't done yet sucks. i would like to do something very stupid just to make sure i'm not an inert, useless waste of space, but i'd probably just end up feeling like it was contrived, and that's more than a little pathetic. maybe doing absolutely nothing would make me feel better. it ususally does.