i hate making decisions

especially when everything is so uncertain. when there are so many if's and maybe's and i don't know when's. maybe if i felt like i was in control of my life it would be easier. in control of the direction of my life, more specifically. maybe if i was in control of what i wanted, being in control of my life would be easier. or maybe this is all a load of bullcrap and if i didn't spend so much time harping on all the details, i could deal with everything a lot more easily.