so tired of trying

i've been trying to fall asleep for over an hour now and i'm pretty sure it has been unsuccesful because i'm still awake, aren't i? even when i think i most likely am asleep, i think about the idea that i'm asleep and then i realize hey - i'm still conscious, i'm not actually sleeping yet and it's pretty darn frustrating. my neck / back hurt like a mother regardless of what position i am sleeping in, and i've been fighting my bedsheets for about a week straight now and waking up from nightmares or from alarm clocks or from my roommates talking in their sleep. i'm very, very frustated. i used to love sleeping.