argh

this is f*ing not cool. napping at 8 p.m. is not allowed during break, especially when it results in sitting alone at this hour dithering away until i get tired. now, this is not a result of pulling extensive all-nighters to finish lab reports or papers or study for killer exams that determine 300% of my grade or even partying 6 of 7 nights a week or anything like that. actually, i've been sleeping just fine, if you don't count waking up to pee at 4 a.m. and not being able to fall back asleep until 9. argh. no, i've been sleeping just fine. but it's a delicate situation. i feel like i'm at a very unstable equilibrium point, and any perturbation in either direction has me nosediving towards...well. my life has been divided into two black and white periods...wakefulness and sleep. like a primitive organism. like a taxis...or was it kinesis, where the pillbugs only had light and dark and just mucked about or didn't move? it's been too long...i'm not using these analogies anymore. i can posit some reason for this...my circadian rhythm is actually greater than 24 hrs, like that squirrel, and i need to move to a planet with a 26-hr rotation period, or just be more disciplined and live strictly between the hours of 8 a.m.-10 p.m., nothing more nothing less. but that's discipline i don't have. whatever. i'm still pissed off at that bitch who spilled coffee on me the other day. sometimes you can't help hating people. a lot. or is it just me?

"Perhaps someday I�ll have a girl...A half-Japanese girl."
teeheehee...sorry i shouldn't laugh. i feel bad. argh. i'm a bad person.