life is good

i've been switching off between mania and a sense of impending doom. pretty much i view my life as a novel and this is the first time it would make sense for me to die plot-wise and that worries me. but it is also making me live more and i am pretty excited to be alive. but that might also be the mania.

it's weird to feel so happy for no good reason other than appreciating life's quirks. i seriously love everything. i don't understand why it took so long for me to let myself be happy (and i really hope i don't crash...)