naivete: it's a curse

i hate reminiscening. i realize how naive and stupid i was. and then it makes me think. obviously, i wasn't aware of my stupidity then, so what if i'm still really naive and stupid? i mean yea, ok. i used to think austin powers was real, and that was stupid. but just like a week ago i thought Jay was real, and he's not! he's actually gay!...wtf? i hate how fake...EVERYTHING...is!

so...now im comtemplating how i am at this present moment. i bet many people still think im pretty naive. so maybe i haven't experienced or seen that much...but that doesn't make me ...oh grr...i have no idea what im trying to say..

all i really want to know is that i learned from my experiences. i think of train. i think of him. and i want to spit on something. grr...how easily i was manipulated and used...and i believed him..i believed...it all. ugh...i believed in a total lie.

even though , i'm glad i stop living in the lie...but it bothers me to know that i may still be naive enuf to fall for it again...not the same person...but the same damn situation, and someone will take advantage of me.

well...don't worry...keep listening to dashboard and weezer i guess...

*g1*