...and tell em i'm your grl, you're my man, promise to love you the best i can...wooooow! did i relle wake up two hrs ago???? well...happy b-day party day, g1!!!!!! i just hope i don't fall asleep cuz i went to sleep at seven thirty yesterday in front of the tv. what a slug. i disgust myself. well this is certainly a change from summer. it used to be, i stayed up this late, or this early, whichever way around. i kinda like it, when the world is all asleep and no one but you is awake. well, technically, only about half the world asleep and not even cuz there are just some insane early-risers ppl. if only the world revolved around yourself. if only. if only. but it doesn't so you should stop moping and read jane eyre! especially if you skipped five chapters! they're important! but enough about me, let's talk about him: the hair, the eyes, anything, pick a feature! agh, we're off to see the wizard, the wunderful wizard of oz...if ever a wunderful whiz there was the wizard of oz is one b/c b/c b/c b/c b/c b/c of the wunderful things he dz! no i haven't been watching movies, but he's been looking at me funny i hope he dzn't read this diary and kno who i am, or gasp maybe there's a spy after all he is a junior and there are juniors who read...o those fiends! spying on us spying! catching us in the act! they read, they talk, and voila, soon the whole school thinks you're weird! yes, i would say that his looks have been full of...fear. he suspects. and the worst of it is, he dzn't even have anything to suspect anymore! i've decided against liking him. i think there's another guy i could like...dispassionately. yes, i do believe i could like him. tho someone i kno already dz, i have no malintentions i only think it would be interesting to like him. i kinda did last yr for a week, but then that wore off i guess but if you decide to like someone, that shouldn't be an obstacle, rite? all you have to do is think about them 24/7 and you're dreams will come true! or you click your heels, you'll get sent to kansas. oh turns out my dad thinks he has a distant cousin living there. isn't it funny how ppl get scattered? so anyway my uncle's wife, i guess my aunt-in-law, has an uncle or something and turns out he goes to my church, but we didn't kno that and my aunt didn't either i don't think so turns out we found each other out by accident but this aunt's uncle has a daughter and this daughter's cousin is at the church too and he's a yr younger than me, so i guess we're sorta cousins too. so we were at the same church for two yrs and we didn't even know we were cousins! wow. hmmm...what else to write what else to write. maybe if i write enough, ppl won't read my entries and then my secrets will not be un-shed. hm. i think it's, my secrets will not be shed. double negative. oooh, i'm baaad. who dares to use a double negative? i do! oh, brr, it's cold in here! well it was an ok movie. one of those nice, shallow ones. not that there are any "deep" ones. only i was on the bus @ tymp and this guy sitting next to me was talking to the guy across the aisle and that guy said something like, and i do not quote, "that's the only movie that's ever moved me to tears, it was such a fucking great movie. the cinematography was just beautiful, god, what a fucking great movie." wow, i was moved. i think it's called the wall or something and at first i thought they were talking about the berlin wall and all that history stuff, and i thought, ooh a history junky, but no it was something about the human mind. huh, go figure. maybe i'm just getting all of it completely wrong, hence the i do not quote. yea, ya kno how they always say read for understanding? well i think that means you're supposed to write for misunderstanding. or else a book is just cr@p and not worth reading. ok, not purposefully write for misunderstanding, but if it's just one of those shallow, sell-a-million mass market books, well you read one and you read em all. hm. "it's a long tunnel to the end of the misery of life." that reminds me, i had an epiphany a month ago. i think i'm using that word wrong, it's prolly only for religious-type stuff, but who's gonna kno, rite? so i was sorting three yrs worth of photos at my mom's bequest, when rite in front of me there was my eighth grade graduation pics. i thought, wow, there's me walking down the aisle, but no not that aisle, i realized. a different one. so how many different "aisles" do you walk down in life? or i should say long narrow passages. well graduation for one, the wedding aisle, and the tunnel w/ the light at the end, ya kno "the light at the end of the tunnel"? i think that's death but not relle sure, never been there myself. o yea, and the birth canal, that's kinda a tunnel too. all major events revolve around your tunnels. and i got to thinking, i'm not relle tunnel-ing rite now. i'm just a blob floating around, no focus whatsoever. so, my new goal is to set a goal for myself. maybe kinda redundant, but then again, who's gonna kno? hehe, yea...say i'm fortunate to have you grl, i want you to kno, i relle adore ya, all ya ppl in love, what's going on yea...something something...and help me sing my song, fellas, i'm your man, you're my grl, i'm gonna tell it to the whole wide world, ladies say i'm your grl, you're my man, promise to love you the best i can...
~G2~