February 12, 2004

10:10 p.m.


say goodnight, mean goodbye

"We both know it's dead and it's been dying for some time. We refuse to let it go. Please be kind, don't drop the rock on me. Don't go outside and discover you like being free, cause if you did you'd be dropping the rock on me" - Rilo Kiley.

It's weird. I was listening to this song in the car on the ride home and I thought of our situation and feeling that way. But you know that Plato thing about how being a physician should be wanting to cure people and not for the profit? Well, for a long time I knew that it wasn't going to work, but I didn't want it to end because I didn't want to be alone, didn't want to feel that emptiness inside. But if I really liked you, it should have just been because I truly liked you, right?

And if that didn't make sense. Well, that anxiety ridden empty feeling that I dreaded didn't last for more than a few seconds, and I think it was quickly filled with a sigh of relief and a feeling of freedom.

So it is a good thing and I'm glad that I was strong enough to finally let it go because I truly feel that we did the right thing and I feel pretty good about it.

Room to breath, again

-g1

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