...everything looks perfect from far away

job hunting again today. i went to many stores, then to jewel. i sat on the bench that reminded me of summer and indulged in a lighthearted sentimentality. no emotional baggage involved. i came home and had some of my favorite chicken soup, then i sorted a load of papers from the very neat, ordered slots of my folder into a giant mess heap on the floor. i thought it was funny that my entropy required energy. then i thought that maybe i had a positive enthalpy floating around somewhere, but i didn't know what that translated into in terms of my room's disarray, so i quashed my chemistry analogies before they became very bad. i had a two hour conversation with my mom about college. made me think that there's something worth it in the saying, even if you do already know it, so maybe i should talk more in general. and there's something in it coming from the person, which makes me think...nothing at all, in fact. i've decided that i definitely do want to make a decision. i also read Sula today, before i went out, and finishing it made me sad. that's about all, i think.