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I'll just tell myself that--that this feeling is just a projection from previous residue. He's just another horney, mediocre looking, aeropostle wearing stupid boy. But he makes me happy even if it is from afar. Is that so wrong? I keep wondering what if...I've got 2.5 weeks left and while I can just pick up the phone and be active I have become paralyzed and passive about my life. Avoid drama, avoid fun, avoid desires--because there's no point? Because I'm afraid? Because I don't want to succumb to my own instincts...
he's just a stupid normal guy who i will never want in about 5 months but his sincere look is still on the back burner and he still makes me happy every time and i sort of just want to throw all my morals out of the window but no no i am a scared little fuck.
either that or smart...
-g1