speedy

WinMX, it's been so long. i've forgotten how fast this cable modem thing really is. whew. i've got five movies again. this sucks. i have no willpower. i have no motivation to have willpower. i just watched shade, which was perhaps not as good as other movies i can think of, but i'm still scratching my head trying to figure it out, so i think that means right now i liked it. gah! in ten hours, i have to drive my sister. work was fine. weekdays are always fine. except that the guy was nice, and now i feel so goddamn guilty for being a sucky employee. i hate guilt. how do you get rid of guilt? by getting rid of your conscience? and how do you get rid of your conscience? by getting rid of your morals, and then what about those? my number one priority right now should be...buying clothes...ugggh. i hate shopping. june 18th...have i met my deadlines? probably not. my room's a friggin' mess. where the heck is everything? what am i doing? i'm so fucking confused. i do absolutely nothing all day. and i bet i know why. because of this. and didn't i say i wasn't staying out past midnight anymore? and isn't that kind of pointless when i come home and stay up until three anyway? i should sleep. i exercised today. what a mistake that was. so damn tired for the first few hours of work, before the deadening routine set in. habit is a great deadener. i think i partially owe a quote. yeah...somebody told me that you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that i had in february of last year. yeah, bitch. with blackest moss the flower plots were thickly crusted one and all. rarrrr. tomorrow...let's see...today is thursday. i clean my room today. ok.