vacation

it's been awhile. and maybe this is true maybe it isn't, but i think i only ever write in this out of habit when i'm sitting at home contemplating nothing in front of my computer. so...perhaps i am doomed by college. i will never exist (here) afterwards. vacationing was...on the other side of the world. i watched a horrible number of movies and read three books total (including three-fourths of one i was finishing and a quarter of one i've started) and, oh yes, i ate. an absolute nightmare. anything and everything that was shoved in front of me, stuffing food in and in until i felt sick...and then more...and more...and then there was desert. it wasn't helped by the fact that in the city we ate out practically every meal. but of course i nibbled on stuff in between (including, i found out later, on a bit of pig's blood, which wasn't bad, but definitely definitely wasn't good either) so i can only say to myself, you had it coming. and i did, because i saw it all (or at least a day's worth of it all) come up, literally, although gluttony wasn't at fault. i blame the seafood, but still what goes around comes around...and up, and up, and... nasty. at least i had two pure days of eating nothing but a bowl of wet rice.

aside from eating and the reverse, i rode on the (relatively) new subway, which made the slightest bit homesick, but the english translations were funny, they reminded me of everything is illuminated: for the sake of the environment, we do not provide any hand-mopping utilities please use hand dryers. or something to that effect. i also ate...wait already did that one. i shopped. cheaply, doubling (no, not really) the size of my closet (but come to think of it, just maybe). and so many bizarre clothes i'll never wear...yeah. thanks to cousins and aunts, etc. and myself who has no willpower when it comes to so many low low price tags squeezed into such a small confined space, cluttering and confusing the brain. well i had it coming i'm sure. i listened to my music hardly never, which makes me think that in college i will surivive without music. not that i'll surivive without it, but that i'll have it and not listen to it and i'll lose the time to be interested and i won't be sad because i won't think about it but i'll be sad about it now. i think i will lose many things in college. ...heh. if i were actually talking to someone i'd be asking for it. but suddenly i'm beginning to see college as this dark vortex of doom which will consist of school and also trying to have it not only consist of school but failing. ack.

this guy from the airport said that in hawaii, it's kinda lazy and pretty laidback. maybe i wanna live there when i grow up. i haven't grown up already, have i? legally...but i can't drink yet! or get hotel rooms! at least there's that!

communication sucked. i sucked at communicating. which was only a problem for three quarters of my relatives mostly, so it was okay. and holy shit, but my cousins are old. things were different. things have changed. not even things that are half a world away can stay the same forever just because you can't see them. i wonder if i'm sad about it. ok, i'm a little sad about it. but cool, college is just around the corner, so my whole life will change then, and then everything before it won't seem so bad, will it?

i was homesick the last few days. i missed my family a lot more than i expected to. i think it was because it was the first time they left me instead of the other way around. it makes me think...about stuff, but i'm tired and i'll nap a little before work.