yet i manage. i've managed so far. of course those memories of awkward jr. high years still pains me. as if i can still see myself crying infront of the mirror in front of my closet: due to my ugly new haircut that didn't meet expectations, the breakouts, the constant bitching from mother, the hole where friends should have filled.
and i've come so far from it. so far. self esteem. a struggle i've had. everyone has it. but to love myself is so much harder to just give it to someone else, someone like him. but i know that he's not reliable. he's temporary...as temporary as the next one.
at least back then i could stand myself, i could recognize myself. on the way to ilya's house on saturday, i looked myself in the car's mirror, and i noticed the hint of wrinkles around my face. almost 17, and wrinkles are starting to form. shut the mirror...and took a deep breath.
-g1