some people make me feel like complete shit. it's not because they act like i'm below them.. it's more like i know nothing i can say will ever get through to them.. and i feel so damn helpless even though that has been all i wanted to do.. help. ((some people are just that stubborn..)) sure, it's never my place to do that.. people can really only get through problems on their own.. but sometimes a push can set them in the right direction. of course that's not something i can technically do, since i don't have a direction of my own.. and will probably be the wandering psychotic hobo until i've seen enough and do.. something.. else.. but still. it helps. ugh, i don't know. maybe there really isn't even a point to trying.. it was hard arguing that there was one when that was the opposite of how i felt.. but if everyone was as hopeless as i am and no one was the optimist, the voice of "reason", then all of humanity would be doomed. sometimes those optimists really don't see things through rose-tinted glasses.. but they know they are what are keeping people going.. instead of giving up.
ahh.. and now i can't even do a 3rd grader's homework. what the hell is made from dried buffalo meat? it's pe__ican and you have to fill it in with a double letter.. pellican doesn't work.. (that's a bird.. hehe..) but i can't think of anything else. hm.. i think it'd be best if i don't tell him that everything he is doing right now is pointless and will mean nothing when he's older.. i shouldn't like.. break his spirits that much.. but yep. that's the truth.
oh yeah. my mom is psychotic. really.. i'm not just being a stereotypical teenager.. she REALLY is. at times it's funny, but other times it's just disgusting. she has a mind of her own and apparently it is a very.. messed up.. one filled with propoganda and stereotypes.. completely senseless. supposedly all of stevenson is supposed to die and i have tumors in my throat along with anthrax.. and i'm supposed to die, too. well.. derr.. of course, everyone dies.. but she really needs to quit watching so much tv. and stop jumping to such racist, stupid conclusions. ((NO SHE IS NOT ON CRACK DAMNIT. its called NASEL DECONGESTIANTS. :) )) i have examples to back up her psychoticness, but normally one would consider those.. embarrassing.. to the family.. so i'll keep them to myself. lol, or maybe i can write a book. that's what most people do..
whoa, that was like a really.. non flowey, longish entry. thats ok though. i'm still.. outta it. and i say like too much. like omg.. thats just like.. pathetic.
::g3::