if only i could breathe what you breathe...

alright, alright... feeling a bit guilty now for seeing the worst in everything... so i'll try giving people the benefit of the doubt and put on a big ol' plastic smile. or at least when passing judgement i won't be as two-faced.... something like that. idunno. hmm the resentment is canceling out the guilt... i have to let it go.... i don't want to end up being the bitter bitch who is "bothered" by other people's happiness.... but.. yeah. lalala whatever i'm good, at least i'm not the only one who sees the other side. hard to break old habits...

uggghh.... soooo much homework... field hockey is almost over.. maybe then my life will get easier and i'll be on a normal schedule so i can talk to people again.... that'd be nice. darn.. idunno what to say.. was it worth it...? as of now, yeah... and i hope that won't change... but who knows what tomorrow will bring. grr ok, i think i'll work on being optimistic, too.... i'm done.